The Maniacal Never-Ending Role of Single Moms (or Dads)

3 Kids in 3D Getting Ready to Watch a Movie

This past week, while two of my daughters and their husbands vacationed in Mexico, I was responsible for taking care of three of my grandchildren. Not a big deal, since I have been caring for children since I was 11 years old. For some reason, though, I forgot the 24/7 specifics about what is entailed. 

The way I used to describe raising children was like living in the midst of a tornado surrounded by a hurricane while stumbling through an earthquake with Earth spinning out of control, because the universe in which I had lived prior to having kids changed dramatically the moment they arrived. 

This week I had a chance to relive those wondrous experiences. Spending a week with three grandchildren, between the ages of 2 and 9, reminded of how every little moment is filled with all the little details I had forgotten: 

Dishes continually pile up in the sink, multiplying before my eyes, because as soon as I wash one, more of them appear;

Laundry grows even after I just filled up the washer, threw clothes in the dryer, folded and hung up all the clothes from the previous load, and what? - the hamper is full again;

Clean up messes (continually) and pick up toys and projects;

Gather homework from the night before – pack lunches into back packs;

Make sure everyone brushes teeth and hair;

Get everyone out of the house on time;

Make sure homework gets done when they come home from school;

Prepare dinner, give baths, put on pajamas;

Finally, get them in bed at a reasonable hour so they will be fresh in the morning. And then the day starts all over again.

Remembering my own experiences and living through them this past week, I don't think parenting today is any more hectic than it was when I was raising kids. In the days when I also had a full- or sometimes several part-time jobs and I was going to school full-time, I had to be ultra-organized, especially when my kids had numerous after-school activities to attend. After spending a week with my grandkids, I'm amazed that I performed all of those functions – alone. But I did! 

Since 1969, I have been on hyperdrive, raising four children, maintaining a home, working, and looking forward to retirement. Today I'm retired, but I'm still in hyperdrive. My youngest daughter graduated from high school in 2002. So for over 30 years, I lived as a maniacal mom, frantically trying to get everything completed within a reasonable period of time. Often I failed. We were late to a basketball game this week by 2 minutes, because the game had already begun.

After a whirlwind week, I had prepared my grandkids for their parents return. The week was over and the kids would awaken yesterday morning with both parents home. They were so excited, and so was I – I made it through the week! I have to admit, though – last night I slept for 9 hours!

So for all you single moms (and single dads) who are living in that hurricane-wrapped tornado, please know that one day you, too, will look back and wonder how you made it through these times. Do yourself a favor and  take time today to congratulate yourselves and reward yourself once in a while, because one day you'll forget the day-to-day things – unless you offer to care for your grandkids while their parents are away – and then it will all come back to you as it did to me! And as far as retirement is concerned, I'm not really sure what that is yet.

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Someone Could be Stalking Your Child and You Wouldn't Know It!

Would you know if your child was being stalked? Did you know that just by placing a photo that you took with your smart phone on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or other Internet sites, you could be putting your child in jeopardy of becoming a pedophile's dream?

Read, Stalking Children – Can a Stalker Find YOUR CHILD Just from Your Facebook Photo?

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How to Prevent Your Child from Becoming a Pedophile's Victim

As parents, our job is to love, nurture, and protect our children. We sometimes move into "safe" neighborhoods, warn our kids not to speak to strangers, and go about our lives, feeling that we have adequately prepared our children to look for and know how to respond to danger. But what we may not realize is that after a while, strangers become neighbors and neighbors become what children consider to be – friends.

If a neighbor asks your child to help him look for his lost puppy, your helpful and compassionate child might want to help, even if she feels the hair standing up on the back of her neck. And THAT is what I want you to talk to your children about – recognizing their own body's responses to outside stimuli. If your children want to accommodate your neighbor but get a funny feeling, I hope they have been told to pay attention to the way their body responds to fear. 

Read more about how to protect your child HERE.

Rebuilding

Divorce, separation, and death change our lives. Sometimes we move to avoid having to live in the same place we did prior to the separation, but sometimes we can't afford to move and we want to change our living environment. 

Maybe we want to build an addition or change the look of pre-existing rooms, so we can create new memories. Unless we are builders ourselves, though, we have to rely on outside builders to change the look of our homes.

How do we find quality builders? Word of mouth is often the best way to determine whether or not a company is as good as commercials say it is. But if we were able to know, before we decided upon a company, which one was trustworthy, we would feel better about our choices. 

So how can we know – if our friends and neighbors haven't already utilized the services we want to employ – if the company we choose is going to live up to our expectations? BuildDirect reviews gives consumers information to help them in their home improvement and renovation shopping experiences.

Check out their Facebook page (by clicking the link) to see some samples of what they have done to improve the looks of some homes. 

Does Your Daughter Cry When You Brush Her Long Hair?

People who read my other blogs are going to think I'm crazy when they read this post, because I can't say enough about the this brush! I bought it for myself, because when my hair grew back in after chemo treatments, it came in frizzy and curly. I HATED brushing it, because it pulled and it HURT!

So when I saw the commercial for the Tangle Teezer, I decided to give it a try. I even tried it on my granddaughter, who frequently grabs her head when her mother brushes her long hair – and her hair isn't even curly.

If brushing your child's hair is painful, get the Tangle Teezer. I no longer use any other brush. 

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Loving Your Pathetic Life

Life is a struggle for most of us, especially those of us who raise children without the support of a spouse. We especially feel that nagging feeling that we don't have enough and that we're not giving enough when it comes to the holidays. We get out our shopping list and see all the people on it. We see our kids' shopping lists and know that we can't afford those Skylanders or that Xbox or that Barbie doll house, and so we look further down the list hoping to find Pokemon cards or new crayons. And we become inventive – like getting the perfect container for those Pokemon cards or new sparkly markers.



We try to appeal to our children's creative sides by purchasing fun crafts our kids can create or build. And we learn to accept that we already have everything we need. As I write in my article, How to Love Your Pathetic Life, I feel fortunate to have everything I need to make life comfortable for me. I have, "a home, furniture, a car, a television, a laptop, a PS3, a wii, a stationary bicycle, weights, yarn, and crochet hooks." Yes, almost everything I own was given to me or purchased on sale, but I truly do have everything I need. And my biggest joy comes from spending time with my family and friends.

I also love making jewelry and crocheted items for others.

Just recently a couple of my kids asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Truthfully? Nothing! I want nothing. And then one of my daughters suggested a Hobby Lobby gift card, and I said, "Seriously, I don't want or need anything, but if you feel you have to give something, that's probably the best thing you can give."

So if you feel that your life is pathetic, look around. If you're reading this post you probably have kids and for that alone you should be grateful. I raised all of my kids with very little money. For years we lived below the poverty level, though they probably never knew that at the time, because I never made them feel poor. They are all grown now, and they still love me.

If your children feel loved, you have given enough. You have given more than enough. Love is everything. But if you're still feeling sad about not being able to give enough this Christmas, please read, How to Love Your Pathetic Life.

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Efficient Gift Wrapping Techniques

My first job at 16 was working in a gift shop, so gift wrapping was required as part of my job. Everything was set up nicely for me, but when I got older, I had to learn how to wrap gifts without having the advantage of a gift-wrapping station. More than 45 years later, I finally figured it out, and wrote about it here: 10 Tips for Wrapping Gifts.

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