Child's Creativity and Nate's Influence Can Enhance Your Home

Did you ever come across something that has been around for a while, but since you just discovered it, you feel as if you've just invented the cure for cancer? That's how I feel about Nate. Yes, Nate – Nate Berkus.

Though I've never met the man, in my imagination we are friends. Nate is creative, funny, cute, and inspiring. He is also too young for me and he is gay, so my chances of dating him are zero. 

However, I spend more time with Nate than I do with any other man. Yep! One hour a day in Nateland, learning and discovering, imagining and creating. Nate is the ONLY man on the planet who can get me to shop, though I must confess to preferring online shopping to actual shopping (contrary to popular belief, some women really do hate to shop). 

Nate sparks my creativity and once my imagination becomes ignited, my mind explodes with ideas. I start experimenting. My convertible handbag backpack houses all of my finds, whether they come from quaint thrift stores or online specialty shops. As I sift through the contents and wander the aisles (yes, even online), my eyes widen with anticipation.

Maybe a theme would work. How about copper?

OOH! look at that copper top kitchen table. You wouldn't want to cover up that with a table cloth, would you? And maybe some copper kitchen accessories! They would enhance the look of the table and bring out its coppery finish. I could even twist some copper wiring in such a way as to make an attractive wall hanging.

Or how about that copper top table with branch legs? Oh oh – what about the rest of the room – or the rest of the house for that matter? I know. I'll ask the kids. All we need is one original and innovative idea to jumpstart everybody's imagination. I could have one of the kids create a sculpture out of pennies.

Or we could spray paint copper leaves on a canvas, remove the leaves, and unveil a beautiful piece of art (thank you to my daughter, Lindsey, for that idea). 

Every project inspires you to become even more creative. And what's nice about creativity is that children seem to have an abundance of it. Their ideas can motivate and encourage you to change the look and feel of your home, using your children as guides. 

Take them shopping with you (for me that means sitting them in front of my laptop). Ask them for their opinions. Find out what colors they would like you to choose for your kitchen, your bathroom, their bedroom.

Your house is not only your home, it is their home. Who knows? They might come up with ideas you might never have considered.

Encourage Dream Sharing

Previously accidentally posted in All Craft Connection.

Children, like adults, dream every night, but unless you ask them to share their dreams, they, like adults again, are unlikely to remember them. By asking your children about their dreams, you are glimpsing a part of their lives that is filled with symbols, feelings, and attitudes.

Often, children will interpret their own dreams, as my youngest daughter did on occasion. In 3-Year-Old Interprets Her Own Dream, Brittney wasn't aware that she was interpreting her dream, but I was. 

When you encourage your children to share their dreams, you are discovering aspects of your children that you might not have known. You might be surprised, when you ask them about the monster in their dreams, to discover that the monster looked like you! And when you review the previous day, you might remember losing your sanity at one point and, as you review the situation, you will understand how you might have appeared to be a monster to your child.

When your child relates his or her dream, ask questions and ask for descriptions: 

What did the monster look like? 

Describe the house you were visiting. 

Does any element (person, place, or thing) remind you of anybody or anything. 

How did you feel during the dream? 

Emotions felt during a dream will give you further clues about how your child feels in waking life. 

Why would you want to encourage your child to share his or her dreams? Let's say your child dreamed about a snake that was continually striking your child. Upon questioning, you learn that the snake looks like your child's daycare provider. Now you can take action.

When children share their dreams, they share their emotions, their feelings, and their thoughts. By investigating their dreams, you can learn about things that matter to your child, that frighten your child, and that bring him or her joy. All you have to do each morning is ask, "What did you dream about last night?" and you will enter your child's world in a way you've never dreamed ;)

Want to read more from this author? Click on any of the blogs that appear in the upper right-hand side of this blog under the Donate button.

My neighbor's alarm went off in the middle of the night

Guest post from: Natalie Walter There is really nothing more alarming than being suddenly jarred awake in the middle of the night by a screeching siren outside your house. I was talking to my neighbor recently and she was telling me about the ADT Security packages that she was looking into but I didn’t know that they had recently gotten a system installed on their home. Evidently their son who was away at college was unaware of that fact as well. He had a hard weekat school and decided to drive home in the middle of the night and let himself in the house as usual only this time he set off the alarm and woke up half the neighborhood in the process. I found out the next morning that he scared his parents half to death because they thought he was an intruder. I think it scared him half to death too because he was trying to sneak in all quietly to keep from waking up the dog and his parents and instead he woke up them and everyone within a ten mile radius of the house.

Collection Harassment and the Single Parent

During that period of time when I was raising my three youngest children alone, going to school full time, and working three part time jobs, I still couldn't afford to pay my bills. Every month I played the "what bill shall I pay this month?" game. And what that meant was taking a look at my checkbook, finding out who got paid most recently, and then paying the one(s) who hadn't recently received payment. More than a few creditors lost out on getting paid each month.

Calling my creditors to get some relief in lowering my payments helped in some cases, but most creditors were not so understanding. I frequently received harassing phone calls, and it got to the point that I was afraid to answer my phone. They were relentless. "When do you think you'll be able to make a payment?" Never.

What I wanted to say was, "Well, you are number 34, so maybe next month." While that was the truth, I actually said something like, "I'm really sorry. When my refrigerator broke, I had to get a new one and when my car broke down three times, because the dealership sold me a lemon, I had to pay for repairs. When my furnace broke, I had to get a new one of those too, and I just don't make that much money." 

With everything breaking (cars numerous times), I felt as if I had a bad luck cloud following me wherever I went, and creditors were steering it. Keeping up with the bills was impossible, and for some reason, I couldn't get my kids to stop growing. My expenses outweighed my income by about $500 a month. By the time I divided my income into easily payable amounts, some creditors received only about $10 a month. I apologized – again and again. But it was all I could afford to pay. I really tried to pay for everything, but the harassing phone calls continued – until I claimed bankruptcy, and believe me, I was not happy about claiming bankruptcy.

Over the years, one car after another broke down. The problems were never simple fixes – they were engines and transmissions. One time one of the cars literally blew up. Fortunately nobody was in it at the time.

That was in the 1980s and 1990s. Recently I had to get my roof fixed. The vent caps were leaking and it was causing mold to form on my ceiling. It was not something I could afford, but I could also not afford to let it go, because I'm highly allergic to mold. 

When I asked the contractors if they could work out a deal with me, because I had a limited income, they said yes. I should have been more specific. They had no idea I could afford so little, but by the time we worked it out, the ceiling and roof were already fixed. Fortunately, though I'm sending them only $25 a month until the $1,000 deductible is paid, they are not complaining. 

However, the State of Illinois IS complaining. When I got cancer in 2009, I was providing daycare and making very little money. I also provided daycare in 2008 and made even less. However, I somehow managed to rack up a $1,000 bill (half of which was attorney fees) to the state of Illinois and they want their money – NOW – for 2008 and 2009. 

I know why. The financial state of Illinois is dismal and Illinois is desperate. They won't go after the big corporations. They come after the little people who make nearly nothing – people like me. That's the kind of sense Illinois makes. But actually, the State of Illinois isn't coming after me anymore. When I forgot to make one payment during those months when chemo wiped me out, without notice, I was turned over to collections. 

Without notice, an attorney for the State of Illinois suddenly started forcing me to pay more than I could afford to pay. Though I pay the state (through this attorney who doubled what I owed the state) $10 a month – consistently – and though I can't afford $10 a month, I pay them $10 a month anyway – consistently. I want to scream, "STOP HARASSING ME!"  But it's pointless to argue or to complain. I honestly cannot pay more than $10 a month. Sorry, Illinois, that's all you're getting. End of story.

I continue to pay all of my bills, despite the fact that things break on me all the time still. Yesterday, for instance, as I was filling my daughter's air mattress (my daughter and two of her sons moved in with me), the electric pump broke. After the pump broke, two portable closets broke, and in the midst of trying to get the horrid things together, before we realized they were worthless, my washing machine broke. For several months to come, we will be washing clothes by hand and using my battery operated pump to fill the air mattresses. Without enough closets to hang things, clothes will have to remain folded on the floor.

Despite my piling bills, those creditors WILL be paid. Maybe not quickly, maybe not in amounts creditors want me to pay, but I AM paying my bills. I am also still getting harassed by the attorney who was hired by the State of Illinois to harass me. Even though he knew my financial circumstances when he contacted me, because I shared with him my income and my expenses, even though he initially accepted $10 a month, he now wants me to pay hundreds of dollars more. 

I know that people everywhere are suffering from these kinds of calls. Stop collection harassment California! Stop collection harassment Maine! Stop collection harassment Illinois! STOP collection harassment everywhere! Like so many people who have to deal with harassing phone calls, I just want to stop collection harassment for good. I know what I should do, because I've learned that the only way to stop creditors from making harassing phone calls is to get an attorney; however it appears I will have to stay away from those who also work in collections.

NY Grandparents

Guest post written by my buddy Aldo Mays My grandparents are originally from New York, New York. About seven years ago, they bought a condo in a retirement home in – you guessed it—Southern Florida. Like many of their friends, they move to the condo in November. My grandfather always jokes and says that it is to save money on natural gas prices new york. It’s true, in Southern Florida in the winter, you do not have to run the heat or an air conditioner. The weather is about seventy five degrees all years. My grandparents absolutely love being Floridians during the winter. It’s funny though, everyone in their condo association is of the same demographic. They are Jewish New Yorkers—imagine that! I tease them all they time and say they got their idea from the Seinfeld episode. Spending winter break in Florida was an adjustment, but I love it. I look forward to hearing seagulls, seeing the ocean, and playing shuffleboardwith my grandparents and their friends. Shuffleboard is definitely more fun than it looks!

When You Have No Choice But To Claim Bankruptcy

When my children were younger, I sometimes worked three jobs while I attended school full time, but the money I made from my jobs came nowhere close to matching my expenses. If my income and my debt had been running a race, debt would have won by a hundred laps. At one point I had to speak with a financial counselor because the hole I was digging for myself by running in place for so long was so deep I couldn't find a way out. I was using my Discover card to make payments on my Sears card, my other credit cards, food, and other household expenses. 

I was not one to purchase clothing, shoes, and jewelry for myself (I hate shopping) – I spent money on clothing and shoes for the kids only at the beginning of each school year. But the challenge of trying to pay the mortgage, heat, electricity, water, sewer, insurance, food, gas for the car, and clothing for the kids – month by month – caused the mountain of debt before me to loom so large, it practically devoured me.

After looking at my income to debt ratio, a financial counselor told me that I had two choices – I could either find three full-time jobs or I could claim bankruptcy. The thought of having to claim bankruptcy depressed me. I felt that I had incurred the debt; therefore, I should be responsible for the debt.

I went home and called all of my creditors to see if they would work with me to lower my payments. Discover and Sears both refused, but I was able to lower the interest rate on one other credit card. My debt still exceeded my income by so much that I couldn't afford to pay my electric and gas bills. The bank that held my school loans offered to consolidate my loans into one bill, but overall, I was still so deeply in debt, the realization that if I kept paying the bills only when I could afford to pay them would result in me eventually losing my car and my home. It was only a matter of time before the stress of knowing I could never catch up would bury me.

Having lunch with a friend one afternoon, I related to my friend the stress I was feeling about my financial woes and I explained the horror of not being able to pay my creditors. She pointed to my refrigerator. "How much money do you think you've paid for that refrigerator so far?" 

She had made her point. Over the years, all of the interest alone had pushed the cost of the refrigerator to more than quadruple its original price. "Believe me," she went on, "you've paid for that refrigerator and the kids' clothes many times over." 

I explained to her that I was embarrassed to claim bankruptcy, but I could see no other way out of my dilemma. She related to me that she had claimed bankruptcy a couple of years before. I didn't want to admit that I was running out of options, but I knew that I was. She reminded me that I still had two choices, and that if I wanted to find three jobs and leave three teenagers home alone 24 hours each day, I'd have to learn how stay awake without ever sleeping. The decision not to claim bankruptcy had become impossible.

Working 24 hours a day just to pay the bills would mean that I would spend no time at all with my children. Working 24 hours a day also meant that I could never sleep; nobody can stay awake 24 hours a day 5 days a week. So I did what I had to do – I used my Discover card to pay a bankruptcy attorney the fees to file my bankruptcy claim. 

Claiming bankruptcy didn't wipe out all of my debt though. In fact, I still retained the mortgage payment and both school loans. Yes, I felt the repercussions for claiming bankruptcy – an immediate sense of failure and a crazy fear that I would never be in a position to save money. But I also felt relieved because I would receive no more credit card bills. 

The hardest part about claiming bankruptcy was the guilt I felt over not paying my bills, and I honestly believe that if credit card companies didn't charge so much interest, a lot of hardworking people wouldn't have to claim bankruptcy so often. 

If you are one of those people who find yourself in the same position, if you're not abusing your credit cards by purchasing frivolous items, and if you live in Nebraska, click Nebraska Bankruptcy Lawyer to talk to a lawyer about claiming bankruptcy. 

Don't be embarrassed about contacting a bankruptcy attorney, but don't allow yourself to get into the same situation once your bankruptcy is over. Several months after my bankruptcy hearing, I started receiving offers to open more credit cards. Though I waited several years to accept one of those offers, I never again used a credit card if I couldn't pay it off the following day (I used it just to help my credit rating). 

One bankruptcy per life is enough!

Jobs, Careers, Law, and the Single Parent

While finding a job is a problem for many people, the single parent, responsible for him- or herself and at least one other human being, is hit particularly hard. 

My first job as a single parent was working for an insurance firm. It didn't take long for me to determine that after the federal and state took out their hefty taxes, I couldn't survive. I quickly learned how to budget. 

When we are young, as I was then, we sometimes forget to include ALL expenses in a budget – mortgage, rent, heat, electricity, water, sewer, garbage, car payments, auto insurance, gas for our cars, parking fees, health insurance, home owners or rental insurance, taxes, and credit card fees. AND savings, gifts, and extras. What if you are invited to three weddings in one year?  

Knowing your budgets allows you to find your "perfect" job. That's what I thought I had until I realized I was working for a pervert. Fortunately employers today are more careful about sexual harassment – they can be sued. Still, some employers cross the line from light teasing to sexual harassment. You can – and should – report those crimes.

Eventually I searched for Pervert. He had moved. I would have needed a California criminal lawyer if I had wanted to prosecute him. And he would have needed a Los Angeles criminal defense lawyer. It wouldn't have been difficult for him – he was a lawyer too. Unfortunately I found him through his obituary.

My best advice? Speak to a financial counselor at your local college about grants, loans, scholarships, a CAREER, and your future. Year after year, scholarships go unused either because students don't ask about them or take the time to write the essays required of them. Scholarships are FREE MONEY! Use them and change your life!