Disciplining Your Children In Public

I just came across an article posted by Lisa Mason on Associated Content entitled, How to Give a Successful Time Out in Public. Many of us have experienced whiny children who ask for items while we're shopping or who scream when we tell them it's time to leave the playground.

What's a parent to do? If you are a parent who believes in time-outs, what do you do while you're in the grocery store or at the park? Lisa offers some tips for just these types of situations.

Click the link above to read Lisa Mason's article.

For more information about discipline techniques, check out these books from Amazon.com:

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan

and

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries by Robert J. MacKenzie Ed.D.

Home Schooling & Social Interactions – The Debate

I came across an article I wanted to share, A Critical Look at the Influence of Social Interactions in Educational Setting, by Julie Darleen, which concerns the differences and the similarities of home schooling vs. traditional schooling.

One debate I've heard over and over about home schooling has to do with why home schooling is bad for children because it doesn't allow for social interaction. Just before I read this article, my son and daughter-in-law had taken their boys to the local Borders book store for "Story Time" (their daughter was at a school function).

During that event I met a couple with a baby who told me that they planned on home schooling their son and that socialization was very important for his development. So any time they had a chance to bring him to a local event, they did.

I couldn't help but think of all the debates I'd heard over the years about how children who were home schooled missed this one very important aspect of growth and development. I wondered why the parents didn't attend social events or create events with other home-schooled children. After listening to the couple at Borders I wondered why it was even a problem.

The way schools are today, with discipline and other problems, it's a wonder more parents aren't turning to home schooling. And with the "no child left behind" program, I have to wonder if maybe we are "dumbing down" our curriculum to attend to the least intelligent in the group, thereby making the more intelligent students suffer from boredom.

Two of my grandchildren just turned 5 years old. Both of them have parents who teach them at home. They will attend traditional kindergartens in the fall of 2010, but both of them might be over-prepared for a typical school setting. Both of them recognize and can write the letters of the alphabet. They know the sounds the letters make and they are already adding and subtracting numbers. Some of the children entering kindergarten don't even know how to recite their ABCs.

One great source that has helped my grandchildren in their educational progress is tlsbooks (a website I highly recommend for children through 5th grade) and another great source is their parents who sit down with them to teach them skills that are important for their development.

Just today I came across the article linked above, and I realized that socialization doesn't have to be an issue for people who want to home school their children. Having met many people who were home schooled and who are intelligent social beings, I believe educational development depends not only on the intelligence of the child, but also on who is teaching him or her.

My opinion, based on years of observation, is that children who learn from teachers who make learning interesting and fun are apt to be more successful than children who learn from boring instructors. But even the most intelligent child will suffer if he or she is not challenged educationally. And it doesn't matter if those teachers come from a traditional educational facility or from a home school environment.

I wonder what is going to happen in the traditional school environment when more children who started out superior intellectually fall through the cracks because they weren't challenged enough to succeed.

Kids Falling Asleep While Eating

From the time my son was an infant, he frequently fell asleep while eating. I wondered if the male gene held some code in it that prevented men from staying awake after eating a meal, because my father and his brothers always fell asleep after they ate too. After a holiday meal our living room was filled with sleeping men.

For years, because every man in my life did it, I thought men everywhere just naturally fell asleep after eating. But then I discovered videos (on youtube) of boys and girls falling asleep while eating. I couldn't attribute their falling asleep to being overly tired, unless they were overly tired every time they came over.

And I certainly couldn't attribute my son's sleeping to being overly tired. Like his sisters, my son always took short naps (an hour at the most) in the afternoon after lunch, so falling asleep shouldn't have been a problem during meals, because we always ate dinner around 5:00 p.m.

If this gene is inherited (if it's a gene at all), it skipped some of the other male members of my grandchildren, because none of them falls asleep while eating – with the exception of one who is apparently afflicted with the "falling asleep while eating" gene. Here is the video:

http://www.facebook.com/theresawiza?v=app_2392950137#!/video/video.php?v=391038671348

Hopefully the video will show up. It's posted on my facebook account. I have no cure or advice to offer. But if your child suffers from this affliction, videotape it. Family members will love it.

When Children Lie

Lying is a common practice among children, and their parents have been trying for years to stop this type of behavior. But the fact is, children lie, and they lie for a variety of reasons.

According to FamilyEducation.com, children lie out of fear, out of love, by mistake, and for other reasons. No matter what the reason, though, lying is frustrating for parents who don't know how to handle them.

But help is here. The Family Education web site is a welcome relief for parents who deal with children who lie. They offer all kinds of helpful tips in dealing with lies.

Speaking of lies, notice this little cutie to my right; you might be surprised to learn about the lie he told. If you want to read about a humorous lie handled in a slightly different manner, read Kid Cons The Tooth Fairy.

Finding Time To Spend With Your Children

At one time, when three of my children were young, I attended college full time, worked at the college in between classes, and provided daycare before and after school and in between work and classes.

 My workload was heavy and I barely had time to breathe. I remember explaining to people that I was tackling some kind of Neptunian Algebra in addition to English, Western Civilization, and Biology, the latter two of which I hated.

As a conscientious student, I followed the advice of my counselors and diligently spent two hours of homework for every hour of time spent in class.

What happened as a result of spending 36 hours with school work each week, added to the 20 hours I spent at the school working and the 20 hours of daycare I provided – oh, and the time I spent grocery shopping, cleaning, doing laundry and attending the kids' activities, was that I had no time left for anything.

One day my daughter, Lindsey, who was probably around 7 at the time, said, "Mommy, you never spend time with us anymore." She was right. I was so focused on school, homework, work, and daycare, that I spent absolutely no one-on-one time with any of my kids, nor did I spent any time with all of them. Except for our hour and a half drive north every week to see their father and our hour and a half drive north to visit our allergist every month, when we spent time together in the car, we rarely spent time with each other.

How would I find time to spend with them, when I knew that in the back of my head I'd be worrying about a test coming up?

So here's what I did. When I knew I had homework to do, I cleared the table. I created homework for my youngest daughter, Brittney, who wasn't in school yet, and we all did our homework together. When it came time to eat, I threw a blanket on the floor and we all had a picnic together. I carved out time from my busy schedule to play games with them and let them know that when the game was over I had to return to my homework.

We even made up our own games. And we told stories. The time I spent with them was precious and memorable and I was so glad that Lindsey brought to my attention the importance of spending time with my children. While I valued my education, and my conscientiousness required me to spend an inordinate amount of time studying, what I valued even more was family.

Finding time to spend with loved ones isn't a chore. Spending time with family is a joy. And a necessary one at that.

Children are wise. We need to listen to them. Lindsey may have been wanting my attention, but her request was important and I'm glad I listened to her.

PARENTAL ALIENATION HARMS CHILDREN

I just read an informative and disturbing article entitled Parental Alienation: Four Facts. In the article, Donald Pennington discusses why parental alienation harms children psychologically and spiritually.

We should know that children feel naturally torn when their parents divorce, so when parents add the extra burden of alienating them further by criticizing or belittling the (usually) non-custodial parent,  children hurt in ways that cut them to the core.

A condition now known as Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) suggests that by engaging in behavior that alienates children from their parents, children suffer from ABUSE by the parent who is contributing to the syndrome.

As single parents, we need to understand that just because we are divorced, even if we hate our ex-spouse, we need to provide a safe environment for our children. And except in cases of extreme sexual, sadistic, or physical abuse, we need to encourage relationships between our children and their other parent.

When I was working at the University of Chicago, I met a child once whose mother threw acid in his face. Who do you think that child called when he wanted somebody to comfort him? Obviously his mother suffered from some deeply disturbing psychological illness and should not have been allowed into that child's life until (and if) she became emotionally well. But most of us are not divorced from psychotic individuals and we need to recognize our child's love for his or her other parent.

Please read Parental Alienation: Four Facts to learn more about this disturbing trend.

Have You Discovered Floambots?

My Review of the Floam Floambot Kit:

If ever a case presented itself that proved you get what you pay for, the Floam Floambot kit is a perfect example. My daughter paid $2.50 for the kit.

In defense of the Floam Floambot kit, I can see why somebody would want to purchase it. It looks like something a kid would want.

Look at the box – those Floambots look awesome. Heck, kids might even want to collect them.

So on a day when my youngest daughter, Brittney, was home from work, she and my five year-old granddaughter, Audrey, decided to work on the project.

First problem: some of the floam was already hardened. As a matter of fact, all of the floam, except for the green floam, was hard. So they were stuck with making a green Floambot.

As you can see from the photo below, the Floambot  Brittney and Audrey created looks exactly like those pictured on box.

Bottom line: these styrofoam Floambots might be fun if they were only fifty cents, but  Amazon sells them for a whopping $15.95, and Brittney found it at Big Lots for $2.50. However, since they easily fall apart once you make them (but can easily be put back together too), why bother with them at all?