Never Trust a Two Year Old to be Discreet

I suppose anybody reading the title would think that not trusting a two-year old to be discreet should be common knowledge, especially to somebody who raised four children and now has ten grandchildren and two great grandchildren. But sadly, that is not the case.

One day last week, late at night, my daughter asked me if I would mind watching my grandson for a while so she could put on a load of laundry. She placed my grandson on the couch next to me along with a pillow and blanket. Exhausted, he placed his head on the pillow and drank milk from a sippy cup while I turned on the TV to play a Dora Christmas program I had taped and gently rubbed his back.

And then I felt a rumbling in my tummy and knew that some trapped gas was just scrambling to get out. I couldn't jump up fast enough to run into the bathroom though, and within seconds my grandson asked, "What's that smell?" which actually sounded more like, "Wat dat fmao?"

So I whispered in his hear that I had just passed a little gas. And I followed with, "Shhhh…".

I don't know what it is about boys and their fascination with bodily functions, but this little two-year old, who was just getting ready to fall asleep, upon hearing those words, jumped up and shouted from the bottom of his lungs, "GRANDMA FARTED! GRANDMA FARTED!" very clearly. He can't pronounce the word smell, but he can clearly scream my name loud enough for neighbors ten blocks away to hear it.

So – words of caution – never be tempted to whisper a secret in a two-year old's ears if you truly want the secret to remain a secret.